Being on the front porchlike that, someone may have seen me in my skirt, kissing Steve. Whatwould I say if anyone told Momma and Daddy about it. At that point, Ireally didn't care what anyone would say or think. All I knew was that Ihad actually kissed a boy and enjoyed it.That night and for weeks afterwards, I would pray myself to sleep,begging to be made a girl as I slept. In the morning, I would cry to findthat I was still a boy. I wanted to be a girl more than ever. I eventhought about sneaking into the kitchen after everyone was asleep,getting the biggest knife I could find and cutting off this thing I hadbetween my legs. That gross thing that kept me from being a girl. LuckilyI never did. I found out later that if I had, it might have prevented mefrom being considered for my SRS.I started having dreams of being a girl and getting married to Steve. Inmy dreams, I would walk down the aisle of the church in a white weddinggown. There he stood waiting for me, in his tuxedo, looking. Because we wanted to avoid a repeat of Saddam Hussein’s mass environmental destruction in the first Gulf War, we had been watching the oil fields and the refineries with satellite and spy planes since the attack on the Hammann.The Special Forces from USS Boxer were actually in the marshlands near the oil fields and refineries observing. Those Special Forces reported to Rear Admiral David West. Admiral West certainly had access to plenty of firepower if something looked to go wrong for those embedded forces.There had been no sign of any troops there. During the lull in the bombing several non-military vehicles made trips to the administration building. We were trying to decide if the buildings were to be targets for missiles or to let troops take the area. The Army and Marine units would overrun the area within hours. They were less than a day away.We decided to let Marine General Downs, Army General Irons and Rear Admiral West make the final decision. They were on the USS Boxer - now.
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